A little bit more, each day

Things have been a little strange lately, because 1) there are a whole new set of variables in the mix and 2) I have an overactive (and overly protective) subconscious.
I’m investigating some of Derby’s breathing issues, and had him scoped about three weeks ago.  As my vet put it, there was “a whole lot of pathology in there.”  Derbs, who coughs a lot, and leaks water (and worryingly, sometimes food) out one nostril, has a deformed epiglottis, some paralysis of his is flaps (the arytenoid cartilage) and displaces his soft palate.  The good news is that his trachea scoped clean – my biggest worry was the possibility of his aspirating food and water down his windpipe, which would be very bad indeed.

He’ s being rescoped on Tuesday, with a specialist in attendance.  And since the first scoping, he’s been on a ton of drugs.  SMZ, Previcoxx, and Dex.    He’s clearly feeling good – Previcoxx is also indicated for arthritis and his gaits look fantastic.  And on some nights, he doesn’t cough, at all.

However,  a few recent events – including a meltdown spook at an open tack trunk that we’ve passed literally hundreds of times as we were walking back into the aisle, toward his stall (and the cookie jar) after a ride had me wondering about whether or not the drugs were having some effect on his behavior, or causing ulcers, the symptoms of which can manifest themselves in all sorts of ways.
Long story short, I became very worried, especially after riding a couple crazy spooks at the same tack trunk, which apparently is hiding a yawning void which sucks horses straight into the Nether World.  And by “worried” what I really mean is that legitimate concerns give way to overblown, irrational fear.

My concerns stem from my experience with Jag, when I unknowingly pushed a horse that wasn’t feeling good too far, and spent six weeks in a cast contemplating my mistake.  So “listening to the horse” has become one of my rules.   I simply don’t want to put myself at risk riding a horse that is NQR, or worse.    Commence the dithering.

I’ve spent some time talking through things with Christy, who reminded me that Derby has taken significant exception to weird things in his environment when other people have ridden him for me when I was out of town   A folding chair, a chain, and a partially open door have given him pause and reason to spook.  This was actually helpful, because in talking with her, I was able to conclude that his behaviors are in fact normal for him, not drug induced.   That soothed my mind.

I’ve had a couple trepedatious rides, and finally, a better one last night.  I have another lesson today.  I’m hoping that within a few more days, I’ll be completely over myself, and able to get back to some real work!  The clock is ticking toward our first outing this year, and we are so. not. ready.   As Christy says, we’re doing a little bit more than we did yesterday, and the day before. If we keep doing a bit more, we’ll back on track.